10 Differences in Pregnancy and Parenting in Japan and the US from the Viewpoint of a Natural Mama

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I lived in Japan for 5 and a half years. My daughter was born in Tokyo in August, 2010. In December, 2010 my family and I moved back to the US.
Here are 10 differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US from the viewpoint of a natural mama.

1) Traditionally, women in Japan return to their hometown to give birth, and then stay with their parents after the birth.
Before having a baby, I always found the tradition of “satogaeri”, or returning to your hometown to give birth, to be quite odd. After giving birth, I wish that I’d been able to do the same! “Satogaeri” gives mamas much needed support after giving birth. I didn’t have anyone to mother me when I came home from the hospital, and I really, really could have used that. My husband did a great job as a new papa, but he couldn’t really give the emotional support and empathy that I needed. I was so very overwhelmed by motherhood, and I didn’t have anyone around me who knew that feeling, and could reassure me.
Unfortunately, it is often only the mother who returns to her hometown. Her husband will stay at their home and continue working, missing out on important early bonding time. I wish that more fathers in Japan would take advantage of paternity leave and “satogaeri” with their wives!


2) Midwives attend all births in Japan.In Japan, midwives work on their own at midwife-run birth centers, as well as at hospitals with doctors. I was planning to give birth at a birthing center, but because I was in the 41st week and my labor was not progressing after a day and a half, I was transferred to a hospital. At the hospital a doctor checked me when I first arrived, and then I didn’t see another doctor until my daughter was about to come out! Midwives attended me throughout my labor, and my 7 day hospital stay. I love midwives!

3) Modern cloth diapers are not yet widely available in Japan.I checked out the cloth diapers available in Japan, but sadly, I was not impressed. I didn’t see fitted diapers, the covers seemed far from waterproof and there were definitely no all-in-ones! We ordered our diapers from the US and had them sent over. That was not the most eco-friendly choice, but I made up for it by hanging them all to dry, and also buying used diapers from other foreign moms in Japan. Now that I am in Boston, I love going to my local cloth diaper shop, Diaper Lab in Somerville, Massachusetts!








4) It is standard to line dry all of your family’s laundry in Japan.ALL my laundry was line dried for the 5 and a half years that I lived in Japan. It was a lot of work, but I got used to it. Then I added newborn diapers to the routine. I love cloth diapering, but in my exhausted, new mama haze, hanging up cloth diapers and wipes to dry was not a favorite task of mine. I was often doing it with my daughter sleeping inside a stretchy wrap on my chest.


5) Babywearing mamas and papas are everywhere in Tokyo.
Living in Tokyo, I saw a strange phenomenon. Everywhere I went mamas had their babies strapped to their chests or backs! I grew up in Michigan, where most people’s lives are very car-centered. I remember seeing babies in car seats, shopping carts and strollers, but not in baby carriers!
When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to wear my daughter. My husband and I tried out our stretchy wrap when Ichigo was just 2 days old. Ichigo is the kind of baby who’s not too interested in being put down. Having a baby carrier was essential! I’ve never had a very strong back and I was wearing Ichigo for hours every day, so I decided that I needed a soft-structured carrier when Ichigo was about a month old. After I ordered one online, I dreamt about it every night until it arrived. My SSC did not disappoint. My husband and I agree that our carrier was the best piece of baby gear that we bought!
Since I’ve returned to the US, I’ve been attending meetings of the Boston Babywearers group (awesome!), but I have only seen a handful of people wearing their babies when I’m out and about. I hope I’ll see more once it warms up!

6) Organic fruits and vegetables are not as widely available as in the US. I don’t mean to say that they aren’t available at all, but the large supermarket near me in Tokyo didn’t sell any organic fruits or vegetables. That being said, it was a lot easier to get locally grown produce.

7) Bed sharing is common in Japan.
Traditionally, and still today, it’s completely normal for parents and kids to all sleep together on the futons. When I would tell people in Japan that our daughter slept with us, no one batted an eye. I can’t say that I get the same reaction about bed sharing in the US. I have had multiple offers to buy a crib for my daughter, because people can’t imagine us raising a baby without a crib.

8) Parents bathing with children is the norm in Japan.
I have to say that it hadn’t really occurred to me to bathe with my daughter, at least not while she was a baby. However, at her one-month check up, the midwives told me that I could start bathing together with her. I was quite surprised, and even asked for confirmation (in case something was lost in translation). So, from the time my daughter was a month old, we stopped using the baby bathtub and my husband and I started taking turns bathing with her. It’s great family bonding time!


9) In Japan, none of our friends had cars. In the US, we are the only people among our friends who don’t have a car.
In Tokyo, we didn’t have a car and neither did any of our friends. It wasn’t really an issue, because the public transportation was so amazing. Now that we are living in Boston without a car, it’s a little more complicated. We live in a very walkable area and are not far from buses and trains. I think that many people can’t imagine not having a car while living in a very snowy place with a young baby. But I can attest to the fact that it is possible! I have two pieces of advice- wear your baby, and walk carefully!

10) Nursing rooms are common in Japan.
Most big department stores and malls have nursing rooms in Japan. As a first time mom trying to learn to nurse a tiny baby, I really appreciated those nursing rooms. I know that there’s a lot of debate about covering up while nursing or using a nursing room. I am in the “it’s nice to have a quiet place to nurse your baby, but not be required to go there” camp. I used nursing rooms, but I also nursed in restaurants, hospitals, trains, train platforms, etc. Now that I am in the US, and my daughter has better head and neck control, I am finding it much easier to nurse in public!

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)

• Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.


• 10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.


• Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.


• Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.


• 10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.


• Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.


• Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.


• Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.


• Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.


• Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.


• Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.


• Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.


• Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.


• Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.


• Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us "natural parents," anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.


• The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.


• Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her 'food for the soul' post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there's something for everyone!


• Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.


• Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.


• My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.


• Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.


• 10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.


• Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.


• Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.


• Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.


• Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.


• A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.


• Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).


• Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.


• Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.


• 10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.


• Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.


• 10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.


• The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.


• Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.


• Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths


• 10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.


• 10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.


• Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.


• Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.


• My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.


• Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.


• My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.


• Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.


• Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.


• 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.


• Top Ten Natural Tools for the Work of Play — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree offers insight into 10 natural toys that will span the early years (and save you money).


• 10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.


• Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.


• Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.


• My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.


• Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.


• Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.


• Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.


• Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.


• Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.


• Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!


• 10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.


• Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.


• 10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.


• Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.


• Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.


• Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.


• My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.


• The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.


• Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.


• Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.


• Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.


• Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.


• Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.


• Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.