Showing posts with label Tokyo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tokyo. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

10 Differences in Pregnancy and Parenting in Japan and the US from the Viewpoint of a Natural Mama





Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists





This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.





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I lived in Japan for 5 and a half years. My daughter was born in Tokyo in August, 2010. In December, 2010 my family and I moved back to the US.
Here are 10 differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US from the viewpoint of a natural mama.

1) Traditionally, women in Japan return to their hometown to give birth, and then stay with their parents after the birth.
Before having a baby, I always found the tradition of “satogaeri”, or returning to your hometown to give birth, to be quite odd. After giving birth, I wish that I’d been able to do the same! “Satogaeri” gives mamas much needed support after giving birth. I didn’t have anyone to mother me when I came home from the hospital, and I really, really could have used that. My husband did a great job as a new papa, but he couldn’t really give the emotional support and empathy that I needed. I was so very overwhelmed by motherhood, and I didn’t have anyone around me who knew that feeling, and could reassure me.
Unfortunately, it is often only the mother who returns to her hometown. Her husband will stay at their home and continue working, missing out on important early bonding time. I wish that more fathers in Japan would take advantage of paternity leave and “satogaeri” with their wives!


2) Midwives attend all births in Japan.In Japan, midwives work on their own at midwife-run birth centers, as well as at hospitals with doctors. I was planning to give birth at a birthing center, but because I was in the 41st week and my labor was not progressing after a day and a half, I was transferred to a hospital. At the hospital a doctor checked me when I first arrived, and then I didn’t see another doctor until my daughter was about to come out! Midwives attended me throughout my labor, and my 7 day hospital stay. I love midwives!

3) Modern cloth diapers are not yet widely available in Japan.I checked out the cloth diapers available in Japan, but sadly, I was not impressed. I didn’t see fitted diapers, the covers seemed far from waterproof and there were definitely no all-in-ones! We ordered our diapers from the US and had them sent over. That was not the most eco-friendly choice, but I made up for it by hanging them all to dry, and also buying used diapers from other foreign moms in Japan. Now that I am in Boston, I love going to my local cloth diaper shop, Diaper Lab in Somerville, Massachusetts!








4) It is standard to line dry all of your family’s laundry in Japan.ALL my laundry was line dried for the 5 and a half years that I lived in Japan. It was a lot of work, but I got used to it. Then I added newborn diapers to the routine. I love cloth diapering, but in my exhausted, new mama haze, hanging up cloth diapers and wipes to dry was not a favorite task of mine. I was often doing it with my daughter sleeping inside a stretchy wrap on my chest.


5) Babywearing mamas and papas are everywhere in Tokyo.
Living in Tokyo, I saw a strange phenomenon. Everywhere I went mamas had their babies strapped to their chests or backs! I grew up in Michigan, where most people’s lives are very car-centered. I remember seeing babies in car seats, shopping carts and strollers, but not in baby carriers!
When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to wear my daughter. My husband and I tried out our stretchy wrap when Ichigo was just 2 days old. Ichigo is the kind of baby who’s not too interested in being put down. Having a baby carrier was essential! I’ve never had a very strong back and I was wearing Ichigo for hours every day, so I decided that I needed a soft-structured carrier when Ichigo was about a month old. After I ordered one online, I dreamt about it every night until it arrived. My SSC did not disappoint. My husband and I agree that our carrier was the best piece of baby gear that we bought!
Since I’ve returned to the US, I’ve been attending meetings of the Boston Babywearers group (awesome!), but I have only seen a handful of people wearing their babies when I’m out and about. I hope I’ll see more once it warms up!

6) Organic fruits and vegetables are not as widely available as in the US. I don’t mean to say that they aren’t available at all, but the large supermarket near me in Tokyo didn’t sell any organic fruits or vegetables. That being said, it was a lot easier to get locally grown produce.

7) Bed sharing is common in Japan.
Traditionally, and still today, it’s completely normal for parents and kids to all sleep together on the futons. When I would tell people in Japan that our daughter slept with us, no one batted an eye. I can’t say that I get the same reaction about bed sharing in the US. I have had multiple offers to buy a crib for my daughter, because people can’t imagine us raising a baby without a crib.

8) Parents bathing with children is the norm in Japan.
I have to say that it hadn’t really occurred to me to bathe with my daughter, at least not while she was a baby. However, at her one-month check up, the midwives told me that I could start bathing together with her. I was quite surprised, and even asked for confirmation (in case something was lost in translation). So, from the time my daughter was a month old, we stopped using the baby bathtub and my husband and I started taking turns bathing with her. It’s great family bonding time!


9) In Japan, none of our friends had cars. In the US, we are the only people among our friends who don’t have a car.
In Tokyo, we didn’t have a car and neither did any of our friends. It wasn’t really an issue, because the public transportation was so amazing. Now that we are living in Boston without a car, it’s a little more complicated. We live in a very walkable area and are not far from buses and trains. I think that many people can’t imagine not having a car while living in a very snowy place with a young baby. But I can attest to the fact that it is possible! I have two pieces of advice- wear your baby, and walk carefully!

10) Nursing rooms are common in Japan.
Most big department stores and malls have nursing rooms in Japan. As a first time mom trying to learn to nurse a tiny baby, I really appreciated those nursing rooms. I know that there’s a lot of debate about covering up while nursing or using a nursing room. I am in the “it’s nice to have a quiet place to nurse your baby, but not be required to go there” camp. I used nursing rooms, but I also nursed in restaurants, hospitals, trains, train platforms, etc. Now that I am in the US, and my daughter has better head and neck control, I am finding it much easier to nurse in public!

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!



Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:



(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)



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